


Married

by nadiacreek



Category: Glee
Genre: American Politics, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Reunions, Romance, Secret Marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-28
Updated: 2014-03-19
Packaged: 2017-12-16 09:34:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 17,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/860622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nadiacreek/pseuds/nadiacreek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the Supreme Court strikes down DOMA, Kurt and Blaine impulsively get married on the spur of the moment even though they were still broken up. They resolve not to tell anyone, and set about working their way through married life and wedding planning while trying not to spill their secret.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Daltoneering made a lovely movie poster for this fic that you can see here: http://daltoneering.tumblr.com/post/75480699894/fave-fics-as-fake-film-posters-married-by Thanks so much!

Blaine happened to be visiting New York when the decision was handed down. He was there for the week, doing some NYADA orientation things, looking around the city for apartments, getting his bearings. He was staying with Kurt, Rachel, and Santana of course, sleeping on the couch. They knew it was decision day at the Supreme Court, and the three of them were glued to the TV screen, except for how they were constantly checking Twitter and news websites so they would be sure to know the second the news was available.

DOMA was declared unconstitutional, and Proposition 8 was struck down in some complicated way that none of them understood, but it was clear that all the news was good. There was squealing and jumping up and down, and Rachel and Santana may have accidentally kissed each other, and Kurt and Blaine were definitely making out, because even though that was not supposed to happen, it kept on happening.

The day passed in a surreal fog of too many appointments for Blaine, and Kurt going in late to work, and both of them erupting into fits of giggles and delight whenever they lost focus and started to think about it again. They met for a quick dinner near Kurt’s office and then headed out to the celebrations. There was a little bit of drinking, just enough to get tipsy, not fully drunk. Mostly they were high on the joy of it, the celebration and the signs and the costumes, the gay couples and the revelry all around them on the streets.

“Let’s get married,” Kurt said.

“Yes,” Blaine said automatically. “Any day you want, you know that I’ll be there, always and forever.”

“Today,” Kurt said.

Blaine blinked at him. “What?”

“Right now,” Kurt said. “I want to be part of history. I want _us_ to be part of _today_.”

Blaine swallowed hard. “I … yes. Okay.”

They raced to city hall, hand in hand, giggling and giddy, and they filled out a license and said their vows with a couple of random city employees in attendance as witnesses. They took a cab back to the apartment because neither of them felt capable of navigating the subway, and they fell into bed without even stopping to wonder where Rachel and Santana were and when they might be home. They fucked and they made love and then they fucked again, and they fell asleep in a tangled pile of sweat and bodies, _together_.

Kurt woke up late the next morning, blinking in the sunlight, completely comfortable under Blaine’s naked body and simultaneously cursing himself for falling into bed with his ex-boyfriend again. It took him several minutes to remember exactly what they’d done.

“Um … Blaine?”

Blaine groaned and rolled over. He looked at Kurt’s face and blinked a few times. “I think we accidentally got married,” Blaine said, his voice thick with sleep.

“Yeah,” Kurt said. “We did.”

“We … um … that was probably rash. We could get an annulment or something, I’m sure, if you …”

“Let’s not,” Kurt said.

“Really?”

“Just don’t tell my dad, okay? Let everyone think that our big wedding is the real one.”

“Our big wedding?” Blaine asked.

“Yeah,” Kurt said without explanation.

Blaine looked at him silently for a few moments. Then he nodded. “Okay.”

“Blaine?”

“Hmm?”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Just because we’re married doesn’t mean we’re back together,” Kurt said.

Blaine looked up from the menu at the diner they’d gone to for brunch. Kurt had called in sick for the day, since he’d woken up late and there was no way he could wrap his mind around work anyway. Blaine had canceled the two apartment showings he’d had scheduled.

“It doesn’t?”

“No,” Kurt said decisively. “Also, all that sex we had doesn’t mean we’re back together either, but that should be obvious by now.”

“Of course,” Blaine said, trying to hide his amusement.

“Just because I promised to spend the rest of my life with you doesn’t mean I’m not still mad at you. Or that I’ve gone back to trusting you.”

Blaine motioned the waitress over. “I’ll have the french toast, please. And a glass of orange juice.”

“Wait, what are you doing?” Kurt protested. “I haven’t decided.”

“My husband will have waffles,” Blaine told the waitress.

“What are you doing?” Kurt asked again, stunned.

“It’s a metaphor,” Blaine told him. He turned back to the waitress. “And hot chocolate.”

“Is that a metaphor, too?” Kurt asked angrily.

“No, honey. That’s just because I know you love hot chocolate.”

The waitress looked at Kurt for confirmation, pen poised over her order pad.

“What he said,” Kurt grumbled. She jotted down the order and he handed over his menu.

Kurt dumped over the bowl of sugar packets and started arranging them into stacks. Blaine watched him, concerned but quiet.

“Your husband,” Kurt said softly.

“Hmm?”

“Your husband will have waffles,” Kurt repeated.

“I shouldn’t have ordered for you,” Blaine said. “I’m sorry. It was rude, and I—”

“She didn’t even blink when you called me that.”

“No, she didn’t.”

“And neither did I,” Kurt said thoughtfully. He straightened the piles of sugar packets.

“Is this going to be okay?” Blaine asked.

Kurt nodded. “Yes. It is. Just don’t fucking order for me ever again.”

“Noted.”


	3. Chapter 3

“What does it mean to you? Marriage, I mean,” Kurt glanced at Blaine beside him as they strolled through Central Park.

“Acceptance. Legitimacy. Being equal to straight couples.”

“No, I mean personally. Not as a political matter. What does it mean to you, to be married?”

“That I’ll always be faithful to you.” Blaine’s voice broke as he said it.

“But we were supposed to have that already,” Kurt said.

“I know, Kurt, and I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I … learned a lot from my mistakes. Hard lessons that I’ll never forget.”

Kurt slipped his arm around Blaine’s waist. “I know. I didn’t mean to bring that up again, I’m sorry. I just meant, any exclusive relationship is supposed to have fidelity. What is it about being married that’s different? I’m not sure I have a good answer for this myself, aside from the fairy-tale romance of it. I want to know what you think.”

Blaine considered this for a moment. “I’m not sure. That it’s long-term, maybe? That it’s supposed to last forever?”

“Hmm, maybe,” Kurt said. “Or maybe that it’s supposed to be the most important relationship in your life? The central thing that anchors everything else?”

“Someone you can count on to always be there, no matter what.”

“Someone who is familiar and comfortable, like your favorite pair of jeans.”

“But who somehow manages to surprise you anyway.”

“Someone to come home to.”

“Someone who always feels like home.”

They slowed and finally stopped under a tree, turning inward to face each other.

“You’re just … you’re everything to me, Kurt,” Blaine said, his eyes wide with love.

Kurt opened his mouth to speak, but his voice wasn’t cooperating with him anymore, so he nodded instead and whispered, “me too,” even though that didn’t quite make sense as a response.

Blaine gathered Kurt into his arms and kissed him softly on the lips. “I love you so much. I swear to you, I will be everything you need, I’ll give you everything you’ve ever dreamed of.”

“Don’t be silly, Blaine,” Kurt said through his tears. “All I’ve ever dreamed of is you.”

Blaine lost it then too, tears rolling down his cheeks. “Yours, I’m yours, I’m yours,” he whispered.

“Oh my god, Blaine,” Kurt said, his voice full of wonder. “We’re married.”

“We really are.”


	4. Chapter 4

Kurt brought Blaine to his favorite jewelry store, the one that had quirky, fashionable choices and the best discounts in the city. “I’d buy you a ring, but if we want to keep this secret, you couldn’t wear it. So maybe something else? A bracelet or a pin or something?”

Blaine considered this. “Everyone would question it if I started wearing jewelry all of a sudden, no matter what it was. Especially if I wore the same thing every day. You might get away with it as a fashion statement, but I wouldn’t.”

 “What about a watch?”

Blaine cupped his left hand around the watch he always wore on his right wrist. “But I already have a watch.”

“Does it mean anything special to you?”

He shook his head. “No, it’s just a watch.”

Kurt smiled. “No problem, then. You’re upgrading to a nicer watch.”

Blaine unbuckled the strap and put his old watch away in his pocket. “Okay. But I want you to get a matching one.”

“Deal.”

They chose a simple, minimalist design, black and silver with no markings for the hours at all. “If we were having a ceremony to exchange these,” Kurt said as he fastened Blaine’s watch around his wrist, “I would have a poetic speech planned. It would be something about time and timelessness, about doing things at the right time and the wrong time, about now and forever and endless love. But it would take days to work out the right words.”

“I’ll just consider that you’ve expressed the appropriate sentiment,” Blaine said. He picked up Kurt’s watch and fastened it around his wrist. “And I’ll say, I will love you until the end of time.”

“Come what may…” Kurt whispered.

They both sniffled a little, trying not to cry.

They walked out of the shop together, Kurt’s left hand holding Blaine’s right so that their identical watches were side by side.

“I never told you this,” Blaine said hesitantly, “but I bought you a ring one time. An engagement ring.”

Kurt turned his head to look at Blaine. “Really? When?”

“When you were visiting Ohio during Regionals. I was going to ask you to marry me, but I ended up not … I decided it was a bad idea.”

“We weren’t even together,” Kurt said, shocked.

“Well, to be fair, we weren’t together when you asked me to marry you yesterday,” Blaine pointed out.

“Touche.”

“But yeah, that’s basically why I didn’t ask. I was too afraid you’d say no, and get mad at me. And besides, everyone said it was a terrible idea.”

Kurt raised his eyebrows. “You talked to other people about it?”

Blaine blushed a little bit. “Yeah … Sam and Tina and … um … your father …”

“You asked my father if you could marry me?”

“Yeah … he said no.”

Kurt cracked up. “I bet he did!”

“He said we were too young and I was rushing things and I should grow up.”

Kurt nodded and hiccupped a little, breathing deeply and trying to pull himself back together. “All those things are true.”

“He also said it would work out in the end.”

“That’s also true.”

“Your dad is a smart guy,” Blaine said.

Kurt nodded. “He really is.”

“I can’t tell whether we’re following his advice right now or breaking it.”

“Both?” Kurt suggested.

Blaine hummed thoughtfully.

“I hate keeping secrets from him,” Kurt said, “but I really do think we shouldn’t tell him we got married. He won’t understand. He won’t really approve, even if he doesn’t say anything. And he’d be so disappointed that he wasn’t there for the wedding.

Blaine nodded. “It’s okay. Nobody needs to know. Like you said before, we’ll have a big wedding one day, with all our family and friends, and there’s no reason anyone needs to know that’s not our official wedding day.”

“I feel so stealthy,” Kurt said, grinning.

“A secret wedding that nobody knows about except us,” Blaine said. “It’s kind of romantic.”

“Intrigue! Drama! Suspense!”

“Comfort. Happiness. Love.”

They didn’t even care that strangers were watching them as they kissed in the middle of the crowded sidewalk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Here’s the watch they chose: http://www.amazon.com/Movado-0606502-Museum-Stainless-Steel/dp/B005GR2BOK/


	5. Chapter 5

They stopped at the market, and by the time Santana and Rachel got home, Kurt and Blaine had vegetarian lasagna and apple pie baking in the oven. “It’s a metaphor, Kurt,” Blaine had said, holding up the bag of Granny Smith apples. “Because we’re as American as…”

“… apple pie,” Kurt finished, smirking.

“See? We even finish each other’s sentences.”

“You’re such a dork.” Kurt pushed Blaine playfully, and then they were making out again.

They couldn’t keep their hands off each other, even when the other two returned home. Knowing smiles, eye contact from across the room, little touches whenever they came near each other. They were just too happy to keep straight faces.

Santana dropped her fork down on her plate halfway through dinner. “Your cute smiles and PDA are bizarrely over the top. That is, like, senior year Finchel level of inappropriate. Sorry, Rach. But what is going on here? Are you two back together?”

“No,” Blaine said at the same time as Kurt said “yes.” They looked at each other, and then Blaine blushed and looked down at his hands folded in his lap. “Yes,” he said, and Kurt quickly followed that with, “sort of.”

“Oh, good grief,” Santana said, rolling her eyes. “Would you two just get married already and spare us all the stupid games?”

“Yes,” Kurt said. “Yes, we’re officially dating again.”

Blaine looked up. “Really? Because you said…”

“I figure it’s about time to face reality,” Kurt said, wiggling his eyebrows at Blaine. “We’re pretty much together at this point, don’t you think?”

“Yes,” Blaine said slowly. “Yes, I think we are.”

“Good then!” Kurt grabbed one of Blaine’s hands out of his lap and held it, clasped, on top of the dinner table. He turned to Santana. “We’re dating.”

“And the heavens rejoiced,” she said sarcastically. She picked up her fork again and held it poised over her lasagna. “Don’t think you can move in here just because you’re ‘officially’ fucking Kurt again,” she said, looking pointedly at Blaine. “This place is too crowded already. And there are not enough walls.”

“I’m still planning to get my own apartment,” Blaine said. “My parents are paying for it anyway.”

“Good,” Santana said. “Maybe Lady Hummel can move in with you, give us all some room to breathe around here.”

“Be nice or you can’t have any pie,” Kurt said to her, but he glanced over at Blaine. The thought hadn’t crossed his mind—there had hardly been time—but why shouldn’t he live with his husband after he moved to New York in the fall?

“I wouldn’t go rushing into something like that,” Rachel warned.

“Yes you would,” Santana said.

Rachel glared at her. “And I have learned from my prior ill-considered actions. Living together is a big deal. You don’t know that it’s going to work out. You really never know about people, Kurt. Sometimes they randomly turn out to be prostitutes.”

“If you’re suggesting that Blaine is a prostitute, I’m never going to speak to you again, Rachel Berry.”

“No, no, I’m just saying, for example,” she said quickly, holding her hands up in an apologetic gesture. “The point is, you don’t want to do anything rash.”

“Blaine and I have been together for years,” Kurt said. “We had a little break-up, but we’re back together now and everything is going to be fine. We can live together if we want to. Right?” He turned to look at a rather shell-shocked Blaine.

“Excellent, then it’s settled,” Santana said. “I’m taking over your room, Hummel. And don’t think you’re going to get it back if things don’t work out and you have to come crawling back. You can sleep on the goddamn couch.”

“What … just happened here?” Blaine asked.

Rachel scooted her chair back and stood up. “Pie, anyone?” she asked cheerfully.


	6. Chapter 6

Blaine was in a panic over revising the criteria for his apartment now that he’d be sharing it with Kurt. They’d need more space, that was a given. He wasn’t sure whether they’d be better off with a larger loft space than the ones he’d been looking at, or whether they should go with a one-bedroom apartment even if the rooms were much smaller. If Kurt was contributing to the rent, they could afford a bigger place, or maybe one that was in a better location instead. But how would he explain to his parents that he wanted to go straight from being broken up with Kurt to living with him? Surely they would object, and since they were the ones paying his portion of the rent, they might even refuse to allow it. Maybe it was best to lie about this too, stay within his original budget and just not tell them Kurt was living there with him.

Kurt took him by the hand and made him put down the pen that he was using to write pro and con lists. He spoke softly about webs of lies and how they were doomed to be discovered the more complex they got. In calming tones he told Blaine that nothing should be a secret except the fact of their marriage. Blaine laid his head on Kurt’s shoulder and breathed deeply. He knew deep in his soul that when the two of them were together, no matter what happened, everything would be all right.

He called his parents on Skype and told them about the change of plans. Kurt stayed in frame of the camera, his reassuring hand on Blaine’s shoulder. Mr. and Mrs. Anderson gave a mildly confused congratulations on them getting back together, asked if Blaine was really sure about this, and gave their cautious consent. But they warned Blaine not to go too high on the rent, and that they wouldn’t pay the difference if Kurt ended up moving out later. Blaine happily agreed, relieved that they hadn’t given him a hard time about any of it.

They called Burt next, hand in hand in front of the laptop screen. Blaine adjusted his bow tie as the call connected.

“What’s up, Kurt? Hi, Blaine,” Burt said.

“Hello, Mr. Hummel,” Blaine said nervously.

“Hi, Dad,” Kurt said. “We have news.”

“Oh?” Burt said in a dubious tone of voice.

Kurt cleared his throat. “Blaine and I are … officially back together,” he said.

“I mighta guessed that from how you two are holding hands,” Burt said gruffly.

“Oh yeah, I guess that was kind of a giveaway,” Kurt said with a nervous giggle. “Um, there’s more.”

Burt raised an eyebrow.

“We want to live together. Get our own apartment. Blaine was going to get an apartment anyway, and it just makes sense for me to move in with him. It’s too crowded here with me and Rachel and Santana, so I’d probably spend all my time at Blaine’s place anyway, and …” Kurt blushed as he realized the implications of what he’d just said.

Burt nodded. “It makes sense. I’m kind of worried that you’re rushing things, but I think you two pretty much know what you’re doing. And it seems like being together is way better for you two than being apart.”

“You’re not mad?” Blaine asked.

Burt snorted. “Why would I be mad? It was always just a matter of time before you two got back together. Nervous as you two looked, though, I thought you were going to tell me you got hitched or something crazy like that.”

“Haha!” Blaine said awkwardly. “That would be totally crazy.”

“We’ve got to go,” Kurt said quickly. “Rachel wants to stream Funny Girl again and our internet can’t take that and Skype at the same time. It was great talking to you! Thanks!”

“Bye, kids. Stay safe, and all that.”

They both blushed a deep red before the computer managed to realize that Kurt had pressed the disconnect button.

One of the apartments Blaine had seen a couple of days earlier had been in a great building in a good neighborhood, conveniently located so that you didn’t have to change trains to get between there and NYADA. The apartment itself had been too small, unfortunately, but the landlady had shown him a larger apartment on the floor below that was fantastic but slightly above his price range. With Kurt there too, he suddenly realized, it would be perfect. He called her back and asked if she could show it to them together the next day. They signed the lease on the spot.


	7. Chapter 7

The New Yorkers all had work on Monday morning, and Blaine had a plane to catch, so everyone went to bed early on Sunday night. Kurt and Blaine couldn’t have sex, with just a thin curtain separating them from their roommates, but that was all right. They’d had plenty of opportunities since Wednesday.

Tonight they lay in bed, face to face and arms around each other, legs entangled, breathing in sync with each other. They spoke in whispers, words of love, of planning, grand schemes for their lives together and tiny details about how to decorate their new apartment. Their eyes shone with the wonder and mystery of it all.

Their conversation hit a pause and Blaine stroked Kurt’s hair. Kurt breathed deeply in, and let it out in a long sigh. “Blaine?” he asked shyly. “Can I tell you something?”

“Of course,” Blaine answered.

“I’m kind of scared,” Kurt confessed. “I feel so alone. I mean … you and I are joined in a way we’ve never been before, so I’m not alone in that sense. But the two of us, we’re alone together. We’re separated from everyone else because we’re keeping our marriage a secret. And that’s … really lonely. And scary. Don’t you think?”

Blaine thought about this for a long moment. “I don’t feel scared about that,” he finally said. “You’re the only person I really need. And now that I know I have you … I feel exactly the opposite of alone.”

“I think it’s because of not telling my father,” Kurt said. “I haven’t kept a secret this big from him since … well, since before I came out. And it was such a relief to tell him that I was gay, to not have to keep that secret from him anymore. He always has the best advice, always knows what I should do. What if … what if we have problems and we can’t tell anyone because they don’t know we’re married? I mean, people always say that marriage is hard work, and I’m not sure exactly what that means, but what if we don’t know how to do the work and we can’t ask anyone for advice because then we’d have to tell them we’re married but we don’t want anyone to know that, and—”

Blaine cut him off. “Kurt, sweetheart … you’re starting to panic. There’s no need to worry about that right now. Maybe we won’t have problems, or we’ll figure them out ourselves. Or if we do decide we need advice, I think getting it will be more important than keeping this whole thing a secret. Let’s promise not to let the secrecy drive us apart, or drive us into doing stupid things. Okay?”

Kurt nodded. “Okay. You’re right. It’s silly, I know I’m being irrational, I’m just … scared.”

“Of what, exactly?”

“Of … of … I’m not sure.”

“Can you try to describe it?” Blaine pushed gently.

“Of being … um … not of being together, I’m not scared of being with you again.” Kurt’s mouth twisted to one side as he pondered this. “Not of being married, that’s not exactly it either, but it’s closer. Of … my dad has always been the most important person in my life, but now … now there’s this big thing that I’m not telling him. And I know we could change our minds and tell him and it would work out okay … but I don’t really feel like I need to, or even want to right now. There’ s a huge, important thing in my life and I’m choosing not to tell my dad even though he’s supposed to be the most important person in my life, the one who’s always there for me and knows everything about me. So I guess that’s what’s scary. The fact that I’m okay with keeping a secret this big from my dad. That … maybe he’s not the most important person in my life anymore.”

Blaine looked searchingly into Kurt’s eyes. “Do you mean that maybe … I don’t mean to be presumptuous, but … maybe your husband is more important to you than your father is?”

Kurt’s heart pounded. “Yeah. Maybe he is.”

“Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be?”

“I guess it is. But it’s still scary. It’s, like, really really grown-up.” Kurt took a deep breath and then laughed. “Wow, the way I said that did not sound grown-up at all.”

Blaine laughed along with him. “One step at a time, I guess.”

“It doesn’t scare you?” Kurt asked.

Blaine shook his head. “Not much, no. Maybe because I’ve never been close with my parents the way you are with Burt, it doesn’t feel so weird that someone else is more important to me than they are. Because you are, you know. You’re the most important person in the world to me. You have been for … well, a long time.”

Kurt smiled warmly.

“I’m scared about something else, though,” Blaine said, his voice rapidly losing confidence.

Kurt’s forehead wrinkled in worry.

“I’m scared about going home tomorrow,” Blaine said, barely above a whisper.

“Why?” Kurt asked.

“I’m scared of being away from you. I’m going to be so alone, just like … just like last time, when you first left for New York. I’m afraid that you’ll forget how much you love me, or … or that _I_ will forget how much you love me, and … that I’ll do something mind-bogglingly stupid again because I’ll just be so lonely and _alone_.” Blaine swallowed hard, blinking back tears.

Kurt blinked in confusion. “I don’t understand, Blaine. We’re _married_. I married you. How could that possibly not be enough to convince you that I love you?”

“It’s not that it’s not enough.” Blaine struggled to find the words. “When I don’t see you every day, things just … unravel in my mind. Little things, little fears start to seem really big because you’re not there to reassure me … the way you look at me, the way you touch me, that’s what reminds me every day that you love me. And when we’re in different cities … I don’t have that. And I _need_ it. I’m not worried at all about living with you. When we’re physically together, that’s easy for me. It’s these first two months, when I’m stuck in Lima, that’s what I’m worried about.”

Kurt pondered that for a minute. “Okay … I think I can understand that. It’s not something I can really relate to personally, but I get what you’re saying.”

“That’s, um, good? But it doesn’t really help me feel better.”

“So, what can I do to help? What would make this easier for you?”

“Oh, that’s a good question,” Blaine said. “Maybe … I think, if we talk every day. Like, really talk. It doesn’t have to be for a long time, but if we could just give each other our full attention for, like, five minutes a day. If I could feel like you were really seeing me, and letting me really see you, just that little bit.”

Kurt nodded. “I can do that.”

“Really?”

Kurt wrinkled his nose. “Yeah, of course. Is that a surprise?”

“Um … kind of. Yes.”

Kurt’s eyes filled unexpectedly with tears. “I’m … Blaine, I’m so sorry. You’ve apologized a million times, but I never did, and I … part of what happened was my fault. I could have done better. I shouldn’t have been so caught up in myself, I lost sight of you …”

“It’s okay, Kurt. What I did was way worse than anything you did, so …”

“No, it’s not okay,” Kurt insisted. “I love you, and I should have never given you any reason to forget that or doubt it at all.”

“It’s … Kurt, it’s…”

“I love you,” Kurt sobbed. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

“I know, Kurt,” Blaine said, holding him as tight as he could. “I know, and I love you, too.”

When the tears subsided, Kurt spoke, his words broken by a hiccup or two. “You know, I think maybe we’re doing a pretty good job of working stuff out.”

Blaine smiled through his tears. “Love you so much.”


	8. Chapter 8

_Congratulations, dude!!!!!_

Blaine stared at the text message on his phone. How could Sam possibly know? Kurt wouldn’t have told _Sam_ , of all people. Maybe Santana had found out somehow and told him. Did they talk? Had Santana found some twisted way to use this to torture Sam about Brittany? It didn’t make sense.

Thanks, bro. But how did you find out?

_Are you kidding? It was all over the news! Supreme Court is a big deal! They’re, like, supreme._

Blaine laughed out loud. Sam wasn’t talking about his marriage to Kurt at all. He was congratulating Blaine on the gay marriage cases in general.

Yeah, I guess they are. Thanks again, man.

_Me and Tina are taking you out to celebrate tonight! Scandals!_

That threw Blaine off balance again. He dialed Sam’s number. “Wait, Scandals? Really?”

“Yeah, dude. I looked up their website and they’re having a gay marriage party, like, every night until forever.”

“It’s not even legal in Ohio yet.”

“What? Really? I thought the Supreme Court was for the whole country.”

“It’s complicated…”

“Anyway, they’re still really freakin’ happy about it, and we are so going there tonight.”

“So let me get this straight. You and Tina want to take me out to a gay bar?”

“Yeah, totally! Best place for you to meet some nice guy to marry, right? Also, my assets will be appreciated there. Do they require shirts?”

“Um, I don’t know … also, I should tell you this, Kurt and I got back together. While I was in New York.”

“Oh, man, that’s totally awesome! All the more reason to celebrate! We’ll pick you up at nine, okay?”

“Um…”

“See you then!”

\------------------------------------

Blaine was very, very drunk, and everything was awesome. He looked around the bar, grinning at everything he saw. Two couples had just returned to Lima from their trips out of state to get married over the weekend, and everyone had been celebrating and toasting them all night. Blaine spotted Tina dancing between two guys who were either bisexual or totally leading her on, but she seemed to be having a fantastic time either way.

Sam jumped down off the bar where he’d been dancing, his shirt unbuttoned and hanging loose off his shoulders. A dollar bill stuck out of the pocket of his jeans, but he didn’t seem to notice. He was supposed to be the designated driver, and Blaine hoped he was actually still sober.

“Wild crowd! Awesome night!” Sam shouted too loudly near Blaine’s ear.

Blaine waved his hand around. “It’s all … love and … rainbows and … love.” His voice sounded slurred, even to himself. “I love _everyone_. I love _Kurt_. And that’s _awesome_ and _legal_.”

“You could marry Kurt!” Sam said enthusiastically.

“I _am_ married to him!” Blaine said. His brain was so fuzzy. “We’re married and he’s my husband and it’s _wonderful_.”

Sam laughed. “It’s true, you two have always been like an old married couple. That’s so awesome that you have that with him. And now it can be legal! And someday you’ll really be married!”

“I want to tell _everyone_!” Blaine said. He took his phone out of his pocket and opened up his Facebook app.

Blaine Anderson changed his relationship status to _Married to Kurt Hummel_.

Sam looked across the room and frowned. “Tina’s started making out with those guys. I think it’s time to pull her out of there and go home.”

“She just needs somewhere to put her _love_ ,” Blaine said.

“Oh man, you are _so_ fucking drunk. Come on, let’s go.”


	9. Chapter 9

Kurt woke up to an inbox full of e-mails.

_From Finn Hudson: That’s a joke, right? I’m pretty sure it’s a joke. I’m not saying anything to Mom and Burt until I hear back from you. You would have told us first if it were for real, right?_

Kurt wrinkled his forehead trying to figure out what Finn was talking about. He closed the e-mail and opened up the next one.

_From Will Schuester, CC Blaine Anderson: You shouldn’t joke about this kind of thing. I thought you two would know better. So irresponsible._

_From Isabelle Wright: Nice try, but you still have to come in to work today. Happy to consult for the real one, though, one day!_

_From Brittany S. Pierce: Yay! Which one of you wore the dress?_

“What the fuck is going on?” Kurt said out loud. There were dozens of Facebook notifications in his inbox, too, so he skipped the other e-mails for the time being and just opened Facebook directly.

_Blaine Anderson changed his relationship status to Married to Kurt Hummel._

Kurt covered his face with his hands in horror. When he could finally bring himself to look again, he started reading the comments.

_Cooper Anderson commented: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~Best!!! Haha, good one!_

_Sam Evans commented: So happy you two are back together! LOL on the married part!_

_Mike Chang commented: You had me there for a minute!_

_Rachel Berry commented: This is not true. I was there the whole week, and I definitely would have noticed if they’d gotten married. Just in case anyone was confused, it’s obviously a joke._

_Marley Rose commented: :D Someday!_

_Unique Adams commented: Oh yes, baby! Pride 4eva!_

_Sebastian Smythe commented: *snort*_

Kurt blinked at the screen. Blaine had shouted their secret to the world, but nobody actually believed it. He picked up his phone and called Blaine.

“Mrrghpffthurgmmzv”

“Blaine, _what_ is going on?” Kurt demanded.

“Oh my god, why are you shouting? I feel like I’m going to die. Am I dead? I feel dead.”

“You are _about_ to be dead. What the hell were you _thinking_?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Blaine said, groaning. “Why is there light? Could someone please put out the sun?”

“Okay, you are obviously hung over, which means you were drunk out of your mind last night when you did this, and while that is an explanation, it does not make it any better and I am _still really mad._ ”

“Kurt? I have no idea what you think I did.”

“You posted on Facebook that we’re married.”

“I did _WHAT???_ ” Kurt heard a thump. “Ow, my head…”

“You completely deserved that,” Kurt said angrily.

“I’m sorry, Kurt,” Blaine said. “I honestly have no memory of that. I’ll … um … I’ll go tell everyone we’re not? Or is it too late now that everyone knows? What do you want me to do?”

“Well, here’s the thing,” Kurt said, his voice turning from anger to amusement. “It looks like nobody believes it.”

“What?”

“They think it’s a joke.”

“Wait … what?”

“All the comments are like, ‘Nice try, haha, I’m sure you two will actually get married someday.’ Nobody thinks it’s for real.”

“That’s … not surprising at all, now that I think about it,” Blaine said.

“I got a couple of concerned questions from Finn and Mr. Schue, but they both are pretty sure it’s a joke. I haven’t written back yet. Brittany might think it’s real, but she’s the only one.”

“Wow … okay, well, that’s lucky.”

“I’m still really mad at you,” Kurt said. “That was a stupid thing to do, I don’t care how drunk you were. Wait, I do care. You shouldn’t get that drunk, it’s dumb and stupid and not good and it makes you do stupid things like kissing Rachel. Please tell me you didn’t kiss Rachel again.”

“She wasn’t even there. She’s in New York. With you.” Blaine said.

“Right. Good.”

There was silence for a minute.

“Okay, here’s the plan,” Kurt said. “We’ll tell everyone it was a joke. We’ll change the status to ‘in a relationship.’  We’ll say that we were just really excited about the gay marriage decisions and changing the Facebook status seemed funny at the time. Okay?”

“Yeah, okay. I’m really sorry, Kurt. And I won’t do it again.”

“You’d damn well better not,” Kurt said. “I love you,” he added after a beat.

“I love you too. Oh god, I feel like crap.”

“I have to get to work. Feel better soon, okay?”

“Okay. See you.”

Kurt’s phone rang again right after he hung up. He looked at the display. It was his father. “Hello?” he answered tentatively.

“Morning, Kurt,” Burt said. “What’s this I hear about you changing your Facebook status to married? Jimmy down at the garage said he saw it on Facebook and it’s a joke thing? I’m confused. You didn’t secretly get married or anything, did you?”

“Come on, Dad. You don’t really think I would have eloped and missed out on having the grand wedding of my dreams, do you?” It wasn’t technically a lie, Kurt thought.

“Yeah, I didn’t think so. Just wanted to make sure.”

“Trust me, I’ll let you know when the wedding is,” Kurt said.

“Okay. Kids these days, man, I’ll never understand.”

“Have a great day, Dad.”

“You too.”

Kurt closed his eyes and took a deep breath in and out. Then he grabbed his towel and headed to the bathroom to shower. Like Isabelle said, he was expected at work.


	10. Chapter 10

“So this is awkward,” Kurt said into the phone, his voice strained.

“We’re married, hon,” Blaine said breezily. “Nothing should be awkward between us.”

“I need to know your annual income.”

That gave Blaine a double-take. “Um ... why?”

Kurt spoke quickly, nearing the edge of panic. “I have to update my FAFSA every year for my student loans. That’s the Free Application for Federal Student Aid. And it says I have to enter the total income earned by me _and my spouse_ in 2012. That’s you. You’re my spouse. So I need to know … um … your income.”

“Okay …” Blaine said, speaking calmly to try not to contribute to Kurt’s panic. “I’m a high school student. I don’t have any income.”

“You worked at Six Flags last summer,” Kurt pointed out.

“Oh yeah. Um … okay, I can look up my old paychecks in my bank statement or something … let me figure out how …”

“Do you have a trust fund?” Kurt asked.

“What? No! Of course not!”

“Okay,” Kurt said quietly.

“Did you seriously think I had a trust fund?”

“Well, I don’t know, you went to Dalton and …”

“So my family has more money than yours, that doesn’t mean I have a _trust fund_ ,” Blaine said in an annoyed voice.

“Look, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that was a _thing_.”

“Let’s just … let’s calm down, okay?” Blaine sat down on his bed and took a breath.

“Okay. Yeah. I’m sorry, I didn’t want to upset you,” Kurt said. “I’m really freaking out about this FAFSA thing. My information is all different. They want your info now instead of my parents’. And I have no idea what that will do to my loans and my scholarship. What if they take them away, or the amount goes down and I can’t afford NYADA anymore, all because we were impulsive and stupid and got married?” He sounded close to panic again.

“Hey, Kurt, no …” Blaine said soothingly. “Maybe it was impulsive, but it wasn’t stupid. I love you, and we’re going to get through this together, okay?”

Kurt sniffled a little, and Blaine wondered if he was crying.

“I don’t think they’d take away your loans for this,” Blaine said thoughtfully. “My personal income is really low, so with my stuff instead of your parents’, you’ll actually look poorer than before. You might even get a _better_ financial aid package.”

“Do you really think so?” Kurt asked, sounding hopeful for the first time in the conversation.

“I think it’s likely,” Blaine said. “Is there someone you can talk to for advice? In the financial aid office, or maybe at Lambda Legal or something?”

Kurt’s voice brightened. “That’s a good idea. Actually, I should do that anyway, because the instructions on the form say that same-sex marriages don’t count because of DOMA. I figured that can’t be right anymore, after the Supreme Court decision, can it? They just haven’t updated the form? But it would be good to get some advice from someone who knows about these things.”

“Definitely,” Blaine said. “Or, worst case scenario, you could say that we’re not married, and then all your information would be the same.”

“Blaine! This is a _federal government program_. I’m not going to _lie_ to the _federal government_! I’m pretty sure they put people in _jail_ for that. I am _not_ going to jail for you, Blaine Anderson.”

“What?!” Blaine said, mock scandalized. “What kind of sham of a marriage is this, if you’re not even willing to go to jail for me?”

Kurt giggled. “Well, at the very least, I’m not going to jail for saying that I’m _not_ married to you, after all the trouble we went through to get the right to be married in the first place.”

“For some broad definition of ‘we,’” Blaine teased.

“We helped in spirit.”

“We did.”

There was a pause as they both collected themselves after that emotional roller-coaster. Kurt finally spoke up. “We should probably talk about, um, all this financial stuff at some point.”

“What kind of stuff?” Blaine asked.

“Like, should we combine our bank accounts? Completely, or maybe have a joint account plus separate ones? And how will we do our household budget? Do we contribute the same amount towards groceries and stuff, if we’re keeping our money separate? When I go on one of my fashion buying binges, should that come out of my own money, or—”

Blaine cut him off. “Can’t we cross that bridge when we come to it?”

“I think we have come to it,” Kurt said.

Blaine nodded to himself. “Yeah … I guess we have.”

“This marriage stuff is hard,” Kurt said.

“It is,” Blaine agreed. He stood up and moved to his desk, opened a blank spreadsheet on his laptop, and got out a pen and paper for good measure. “Okay. Talk to me about your grocery expenses in New York.”

“Blaine? I love you.”

Blaine smiled to himself. “Love you, too. Now. Groceries. How much per week?”


	11. Chapter 11

Blaine let himself fall backward onto the bed, naked. The apartment was sweltering in the late-August heat, and their cooling-off break from unpacking had backfired when it turned into yet another opportunity for frantic, celebratory sex. He spread his limbs, trying to expose as much surface area to the insufficient ceiling fan as possible.

Kurt reached up from the floor to snag his glass of lemonade from the cardboard box where he’d left it. “I just had sex with my husband in our apartment,” he said aloud, savoring the sound of the words before gulping down some of the lemonade.

“You’re never going to get tired of saying that,” Blaine said, giggling.

“Nope,” Kurt agreed happily. “Let’s pretend that I’ve just kissed you on the cheek right now, because getting all the way up to reach you seems much too difficult.”

“I can’t believe we made it,” Blaine said, his voice full of wonder. “Two months married, and nobody has figured it out.”

“Kind of miraculous.”

Blaine rolled over on his side and propped his head up on his hand to have a better angle to look at Kurt on the floor. “So, when do you think we should have the wedding? I mean, the one we invite everyone to.”

Kurt arched an eyebrow playfully. “Don’t you think you’re getting ahead of yourself?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you haven’t even proposed to me, and already you’re talking about setting a date for the wedding!”

“I don’t need to propose to you. We’re already married,” Blaine said.

“That is no excuse for not wooing me properly.”

“ _You_ proposed to _me_!” Blaine objected.

“All the more reason for you to do it this time!”

“Fine,” Blaine said, pretending to grumble. “Will you marry me?”

Kurt sat up and put his hands on his hips, which looked rather ridiculous given that he was completely naked and still sweaty. “What kind of a proposal is that? Naked, sweaty, surrounded by half-unpacked cardboard boxes? I certainly wouldn’t marry any man who didn’t sweep me off my feet with a grand marriage proposal, including a romantic setting and flowers or a song or something like that. And definitely a ring. Go big or go home.”

Blaine snorted. “I can’t believe you just _rejected_ me.”

Kurt leaned forward and kissed him. “I didn’t reject you, sweetie. But you only get to get engaged to the love of your life once—”

“Twice,” Blaine said in a sarcastic tone, but he had a smile on his face.

“—and I want us to do this right.” Kurt paused. “Besides, this whole thing is kind of like a show. We need to perform it in public, for the benefit of our friends and family.”

Blaine wrinkled his forehead. “What do you mean?”

“We can’t leap into telling them we’re engaged. We just moved in together _today_! We’ve only been back together for two months, and we spent almost all of that time living in different cities. It would look almost as irresponsible as what we actually did.”

Blaine thought about this. “That’s true … but I hate keeping this a secret. It’s hard and it feels like lying. I want to have the wedding as soon as we can. Like, this Christmas would be good.”

“I wish we could, Love, but that’s just way too soon.”

Blaine pouted.

“Look,” Kurt said, moving to sit beside him on the bed. “What would you think if Finn and Rachel got back together and then announced that they were getting married less than six months later?”

“I’d think they were crazy.”

“Exactly,” Kurt said. “And I don’t want to be dealing with a bunch of people trying to convince us that we’re moving too fast. I want them all to be genuinely happy for us, not trying to talk us out of it.”

“So, what kind of timeline would you suggest?”

“Well, the most responsible thing to do would be to date for at least a year before getting engaged,” Kurt said.

“A year?! You must be joking.”

“And then get married after we graduate.”

“What? There’s no way we can keep this thing secret for _four years_.”

“Oh, no, definitely not,” Kurt said. “That would be the _most_ responsible path. The question is how much time we can shave off that before people start to be concerned.”

Blaine rolled over onto his back. “How about getting married next summer? That way the wedding and the honeymoon won’t interfere with classes.”

“Summer is _so_ not my season,” Kurt complained. “I was thinking New Year’s.”

Blaine brightened. “That’s only a week later than my Christmas plan that you hated, though.”

“New Year’s Eve of next year. December 31, 2014.”

Blaine groaned.

“It takes at least six months to plan the kind of wedding I have in mind, so you could propose sometime in the spring or early summer,” Kurt continued. “Ooh! You could propose on our anniversary! It would be so sweet and romantic and it would be this little secret between the two of us!”

“How about on Valentine’s Day?” Blaine suggested.

“Well, _somebody’s_ an eager beaver,” Kurt teased.

“Oh, good grief.”

“Valentine’s Day it is, then,” Kurt said. He stretched out on the bed next to Blaine.

“So much for making it a surprise,” Blaine joked.

“I promise to act extremely surprised,” Kurt assured him. “Can we have more sex now?”


	12. Chapter 12

“The other freshman are complaining that they never see me,” Blaine said over dinner in the tiny, cramped eating area in their apartment one night in mid-September.

“That’s ridiculous. They see you every day in class,” Kurt said.

“But they all live in the dorms, so they hang out and do homework together and sing ridiculous songs late at night and all that stuff. And I’m never there for that.”

“True,” Kurt said thoughtfully. “But neither am I, and nobody ever complained.” He popped a piece of roast chicken in his mouth. “And don’t say it’s because I’m unpopular,” he said with his mouth full.

“It’s probably because you started mid-year,” Blaine said. “You were already kind of an outsider. Didn’t meet people at orientation and stuff.

Kurt clapped his hands excitedly. “I know! Let’s throw a party! It can be sort of like a housewarming, now that the place is starting to come together. Something classy, like a wine and cheese party. Ooh! Can we do a Great Gatsby theme?”

“Everyone is doing Great Gatsby these days. How about Star Trek instead?”

Kurt rolled his eyes. “Nerd,” he said affectionately.

“No, with the new movies, it’s all cool now!” Blaine insisted.

“Ooh, how about a Star Trek / Great Gatsby mashup? Gilded age space travel … it could work …”

“What, like steampunk?” Blaine asked.

“Close but not quite,” Kurt said without further explanation. “Hmm, maybe we could define it more broadly. Retro-futuristic.”

“That sounds exciting.”

Kurt’s eyes shone with the thrill of party planning. “I’ll design some evites.”

\---------------------------------

“I love what you’ve done with the place!” Rachel shrieked as she entered their apartment two hours before the scheduled start of the party. “I thought I’d come early and help you set up. But _wow_! It looks so grown up in here! I mean, aside from the party decorations, which are quite tasteful and interesting. The underlying décor of the place, it’s … what happened to all that quirky stuff you had in the loft?”

Kurt smiled, too flattered to be annoyed at Rachel’s unannounced early arrival. “I sold most of it on eBay. It didn’t exactly fit the look of this place. Less industrial, more … preppy. But in a good way. Tasteful, creative preppy, with sophisticated, eclectic flairs.”

“I mostly just nod and smile when he starts talking like this,” Blaine stage whispered.

Kurt swatted playfully at his shoulder. “You picked out all the vintage maps.”

“It’s true, I did,” Blaine admitted.

Rachel laughed. “You’re like an old married couple already.”

“A _fabulous_ old married couple,” Kurt insisted.

Blaine winked at Kurt as soon as her back was turned.

\--------------------------------------------

“Dude, this is, like, the most grown-up college party I’ve ever been to.”

“I had no idea there were this many kinds of cheese in existence.”

“Someday I want to be mature and responsible like you guys.”

“This is practically a different world from the dorms. Are we still in New York? Are you sure?”

Everyone had a great time, but the comments came in a steady stream all night long. Kurt was surprised at first, but he had to admit that their friends had a point. Even just one month into living together, their lives were miles different from anything an ordinary college student in the dorms would experience. Even one with a serious significant other.

“Thank you so much for inviting us,” a slightly tipsy girl said to Blaine as she was getting ready to leave with the last small group of stragglers. “It was great to finally meet your partner. The two of you are adorable together!”

“Thank you,” Blaine managed to stammer. He closed the door gently behind her and her friends as they left.

“Partner,” Kurt said, arching an eyebrow. “Is that what you’ve been calling me around all your new NYADA friends?”

Blaine shook his head. “No … I try to use your name as much as possible because I can’t say ‘husband,’ but ‘boyfriend’ isn’t very accurate either.”

Kurt pulled Blaine closer to him and slid his arms around his waist. “So she just made up ‘partner’ all by herself?”

“It kind of fits…” Blaine said.

“This is fantastic,” Kurt said. “Nobody’s going to blink an eye when we tell them we’re getting married.”

“Hey wait a minute,” Blaine said jokingly. “I haven’t even proposed yet.”

In answer, Kurt kissed him.


	13. Chapter 13

_Step step step turn step leap and …_

Kurt was soaring through the air. This was the best he’d done this combination in the whole hour of dance class. Hell, this was the best he’d done any dance combination ever. He felt light. The wind ruffled his hair. He didn’t think to wonder why there was wind indoors in the dance studio. He was one with the wind. He was the wind. He was …

He was staring at the ceiling all of a sudden, a ring of worried faces looking down at him in a horrifying, dizzying circle. He’d fallen. He must have landed wrong. He didn’t remember landing. Oh god, he must have passed out.

“Kurt? Kurt?” It was the first time Cassandra July had ever called him by his real name.

“I’m okay,” he groaned. He tried to sit up, but she put her hand on his shoulder and pinned him neatly to the floor. She was surprisingly strong, or else he was surprisingly weak right now. Probably the latter. Maybe both.

“Have you been eating?” she asked.

“Yes, of course I’ve been eating,” Kurt said, annoyed. He wasn’t anorexic like half of the dance majors were. He was just trying to get through the basic levels of dance classes enough so that he wouldn’t embarrass himself onstage.

“Have you eaten anything today?”

“Um … no,” Kurt admitted. “I was running late and there was a club meeting I had to go to before my first class, and then Blaine was going to bring me a bagel but his train was delayed, so I figured I’d just get lunch right after my second class. Which is this one. Which ends in ten minutes.”

“I’m going to call the nurse just in case,” Cassandra said.

“No, you don’t need to. I’m really fine, I’m just… please stop holding me down. I’m fine.” The more Kurt came back to himself, the more embarrassing this was.

“I’ll stop holding you down when you stop trying to get up,” Cassandra said.

The door to the room banged open. “Let me in! Let me in! He’s my husband, let me through!”

Kurt’s mouth dropped open. “Blaine? God, how did you even know anything had happened?”

Blaine squatted down and held Kurt’s hand. “Rachel texted me that you were unconscious. What happened? Are you okay? Do we need to take you to the hospital? I’ll come with you. Where is the ambulance?”

“I don’t need an ambulance!” Kurt waved off both Cassandra’s and Blaine’s hands, shot a nasty glare at Rachel, and then hoisted himself into a sitting position. “I’m perfectly fine, I just stupidly didn’t eat breakfast and then embarrassed myself in front of everyone. Thank you so much for adding to the embarrassment level, Blaine.”

Blaine looked like he’d been slapped, and Kurt immediately felt guilty.

Cassandra rolled her eyes. “Far be it from me to interrupt this little domestic quarrel, but you’re going to the nurse right now whether you like it or not. Don’t come back to class without a note from her.”

“I’ll take him down there, Miss July,” Blaine said.

“Good,” she said. “Okay everyone, move along, nothing to see here. And this little disruption is not getting you out of doing the dance combination one last time. Back in line, everyone.” She turned back to Kurt, who was leaning on Blaine’s arm as they walked slowly to the exit. “He’s not really your husband, is he?”

Kurt hesitated, but Blaine answered instead. “I just wanted to get through the crowd. Sorry for barging into your class like that.”

She looked quizzically back and forth between them. “Well, just don’t let it happen again.”

“No, ma’am, of course not.” Blaine closed the door gently behind them as they left.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you,” Kurt said. “I was just so embarrassed. I didn’t mean to take it out on you. I’m glad you came.”

Blaine smiled softly. “It’s alright. Come on. Want to grab something to drink before we head down to the nurse’s office?”

“That sounds like an excellent idea.”


	14. Chapter 14

Kurt and Blaine clung to each other in the airport terminal, hugging tightly, their eyes wet with tears.

“I’m going to miss you so much,” Blaine whimpered.

“God, me too,” Kurt said with a sigh. He squeezed Blaine a little tighter.

“I’ll call you every day, I promise.”

“You’d better.” Kurt pulled back from the hug, sniffling a little. “This is ridiculous. It’s only four days apart. I shouldn’t be getting all emotional like this.”

“I just wish we could be together,” Blaine said sadly.

“Me too.” He gave Blaine’s hand one last squeeze.

It was a goodbye worthy of a year-long voyage to Africa, but when they parted ways it was at the baggage claim section of the Columbus airport. Kurt moved toward his father’s open arms at the door to the parking garage, and Blaine waved politely to Burt before heading out to where his mother was waiting in an idling SUV by the curb.

It was going to be a long, torturous Thanksgiving.

\----------------------------------------

_This is dumb. We’re married. We should be spending our holidays together._

**We’ve been over this, Blaine. How could we possibly make excuses to our parents? And we’re together every day. Four days apart won’t kill us.**

_I miss you. I love you._

**We will have awesome sex back in New York in a few days.**

_That makes me feel slightly better._

\----------------------------------------

Mr. Anderson raised his champagne glass. “To another happy Thanksgiving with all our family gathered together.” He clinked his glass with his wife’s, then with Cooper’s and Blaine’s before they all drank.

“What’s the matter, Blaine?” he asked as he set his glass down. “You look sad.”

“I’m fine,” Blaine lied.

“Are things not going well in New York? Is the stress of school getting to be too much?”

“No, things in New York are great,” Blaine said. “I just miss Kurt, is all. It would have been nice to spend Thanksgiving together with him.”

Mr. Anderson wrinkled his forehead. “Thanksgiving is for family.”

“Kurt _is_ my family,” Blaine said, almost angrily even though there was no call for that kind of reaction.

“Kurt’s your boyfriend,” Mrs. Anderson said. “ _We’re_ your family. Wait until you get married. You’ll see. It’s different.”

Blaine managed to choke down his meal somehow.

Cooper handed him the keys to his rental car after dinner. “Go see him. Just promise me you won’t crash the car. I’ve already got two other rental companies on my case.”

\----------------------------------------

Carole answered the door, surprised at his arrival. Blaine looked at her apologetically. He should have called first, but he’d been terrified that they’d say he wasn’t welcome. “Hi,” he said. “I just wanted to come over and say—”

“Blaine!” Kurt leapt up from the couch and bounded to the door, nearly knocking Blaine over with the force of his hug.

Burt grinned at him. “Come on in, we’re just recovering from our food comas before dessert.”

“I don’t mean to intrude on your family time,” Blaine said, hesitant to even enter the house.

“Don’t be silly, Blaine,” Burt said. “You _are_ family.”

Snuggled on the couch later that night, Kurt whispered into Blaine’s ear. “I don’t care what anyone says. We are finding a way to spend _all_ of Christmas break together.”


	15. Chapter 15

Blaine drops it casually into conversation during his weekly phone call with his parents like it’s nothing. “It’s so cold here already, and just the beginning of December.”

“Here too,” his mother answered, grumbling good-naturedly.

“Snow on the ground already,” his father said. “I need to hire a new guy to shovel the sidewalks. The one we had last year never called me back this week, so I had to do it myself.”

“I should think of some excuse to visit Cooper in L.A. when I can’t stand the cold anymore,” Blaine said, carefully making the statement sound offhand. “Especially now that he finally has an apartment all to himself.”

His mother hummed thoughtfully, and Blaine launched into a story about his acting class.

The following week, it paid off.

“Good news, Blaine,” his father said. “We took your suggestion. Christmas is at Cooper’s this year! I’m about to buy your plane tickets if you could just check the scheduling with me.”

“Oh gosh, Dad,” Blaine said, being sure to sound surprised and uncertain. “I know I talked about visiting Cooper, but I didn’t mean at Christmas. I was really looking forward to seeing all my old friends from high school over the break. Everyone’s going to be back … the kids from McKinley, and all the Dalton guys …”

“I didn’t think about that …” his mother said. “I’m sorry …”

Blaine had to sell this perfectly, he knew. “I wonder if I … would you mind … I mean, I just saw you guys at Thanksgiving, but I haven’t seen most of my friends in months. How would you feel if I go to Ohio anyway, and you guys can still visit Cooper in Los Angeles? I don’t want to spoil your beach vacation, I just … I’d rather be in Ohio. Is that okay?”

“Well—” his father began, and then stopped.

“It’s okay,” his mother said quickly. Blaine wondered if they’d had a conversation about his level of independence since Thanksgiving. “I understand. You’re an adult now, you can make your own decisions. And you’re right, you did just see us a few weeks ago, so … I guess it’s fine.”

“I’ll miss you,” Blaine said sadly. “I’ll mail your presents to Cooper, okay? And I’ll see you soon. Spring break, probably, right?”

“Yeah … that sounds good,” his father said hesitantly.

“My little baby all grown up!” his mother exclaimed, her voice breaking a little. “Remember the first time Cooper didn’t come home for the holidays? He took that winter trip to Europe with a group of his college friends and … oh god, it seems like ages ago now, and it also seems like yesterday.”

“Where will you stay in Ohio?” his father asked, turning to practicalities while his wife got emotional, as always. “Do you want us to leave you a spare key, so you can stay at the house?”

“Oh, no, don’t worry about it,” Blaine said breezily. “I’ll find a friend to stay with. It’ll be best to be closer to Lima anyway, I think.”

He grinned at Kurt when he got off the phone. “Time to implement Phase 2.”

Kurt pulled his phone out of his pocket and called his dad.

“Everything’s great, Dad. There’s just something I wanted to ask you. Blaine needs a place to stay for the holidays. His parents are going to visit Cooper out in California, and … no, of course they offered to take Blaine with them, but he’d rather come to Ohio and see everyone who’s home from college, so … yes, exactly … Great! Thank you! We—I mean, _he_ really appreciates it. Yes … yes, okay … okay, talk to you later! Bye!”

“Mission accomplished,” Kurt said to Blaine as soon as he hit the end call button.

Blaine held up his hand and Kurt high-fived him. “Blam!” Blaine shouted.

Kurt rolled his eyes, but he was grinning.

“Sorry, habit.”

“You regret marrying me instead of Sam, don’t you? Don’t try to deny it. I’m on to you, Anderson.”

Blaine stared at him with mock-shocked, wide-eyed innocence. “What? Me? Never!”

“You miss his abs,” Kurt said accusingly.

“He does have lovely abs,” Blaine admitted. “But I adore your beautiful flat stomach. Can I see it now? Can I look?” He reached for the hem of Kurt’s shirt.

Kurt slapped his hand playfully. “Absolutely not.”

“Abs-olutely, haha!”

“Oh my god, you are such a dork and I love you.”


	16. Chapter 16

Christmas Eve was a small, family event. Burt, Carole, Finn, Kurt, and Blaine, with no outside guests. In accordance with Hummel family tradition, each of them chose one gift to open after dinner, before the mad rush of Christmas morning.

Burt opened a small envelope from Carole, which turned out to be plane tickets for a romantic weekend getaway in the mountains a few weeks later. He was thrilled, but Kurt and Finn both tried not to think too hard about their parents going on a romantic weekend getaway.

Carole opened a brightly colored gift bag from Kurt and found a pair of designer oven mitts. “I love them!” she said, stroking the luscious fabric. “They’re so pretty I think I’ll be afraid to use them!”

Finn ripped the wrapping paper off a box from Burt and found a handful of new video games. He seemed happy, but a bit distracted. “Kurt, your turn,” he said quickly.

Kurt chose a small box from Blaine. It was too small to contain anything but jewelry, and he thought it might be something he could wear to the larger Christmas party tomorrow night. His suspicions proved correct – it was a lovely gold brooch in the shape of a pine tree. It would look excellent with his forest green button-down. He kissed Blaine lightly on the cheek in thanks.

For some reason, Finn looked disappointed. Kurt brushed it off. Finn had never been fond of his accessorizing anyway.

Blaine loved the scarf that Carole had knitted for him, too.

\------------------------------

There was a New Directions reunion party on the night of Christmas Day, also held at the Hummel house. It was the most natural location, since three of the returning members lived there already, and Rachel treated it as practically her second home, and Sam had lived there once before and still hung out there all the time. All of the graduates were there, and some of the new kids as well, and Will and Emma came to catch up with their former students, too.

Kurt was having a great time seeing all his old friends, but something seemed off. He managed to catch Blaine alone for a moment. “Have you noticed people looking at you strangely?” he asked quietly.

Blaine’s forehead wrinkled as he thought about it. “No? Not really. Strangely how?”

Kurt shook his head, not really sure what he meant. “Expectantly, maybe? Like there’s something they’re waiting for, or something they want to say but can’t? I’m not sure exactly.”

“Everyone, or just some of them?” Blaine asked.

Kurt glanced around the room, intending to jog his memory of past conversations by looking at his friends surreptitiously. Except that the moment he took his eyes off Blaine, he noticed that everyone was staring at them. It was seriously weird.

“What?” Kurt asked the room at large.

“We’re just happy to see you!” Rachel said quickly, and everyone awkwardly turned back to their conversations.

“Yes,” Blaine said quietly. “I think they are acting a little strange.”

Kurt rolled his eyes. “Thanks, that’s very helpful.”

\------------------------------

No explanation was forthcoming. They saw everyone again a week later, at Rachel’s New Year’s Eve party. Her dads were home, and most people were driving or flying home the next morning, so there was no alcohol to be found. But they were all happy to have this one last opportunity to be together as a group, so nobody really minded.

At the stroke of midnight, Blaine kissed Kurt sweetly on the lips. “Happy new year, my love,” he said after they broke apart.

“Aww, that’s so sweet!” Brittany said.

“That’s easy for you to say,” Sam grumbled. “You didn’t just lose your chance at the fifty bucks.”

“Sam!” Tina shouted.

Santana groaned.

“Okay, what is going on here?” Kurt demanded.

“Seriously, when are you two going to get engaged?” Sam asked angrily.

“Did you … have a betting pool on when we were going to get engaged?” Blaine asked.

“Thanks for ruining everything, Trouty McLoudmouth,” Santana said, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“I cannot believe this,” Kurt said.

“Calm down, everyone,” Rachel said. “It’s not anything to get mad over, Kurt. It’s just, you and Blaine have been acting like an old married couple _forever_ , and we figured now that you’ve both graduated from high school and you’re living together being all domestic and grown-up and everything, there was a good chance that you’d get engaged at some point this year. And people had guesses about when, and then somehow that ended up getting backed up with money, and … I don’t know, it was just a cute thing at the time.”

“Well, who are we to spoil your fun,” Blaine said.

“What?” Kurt said, turning to look at him.

“Kurt,” Blaine said in a serious tone. “I love you, and I will love you forever. Will you marry me?”

“But … but … I thought we agreed on Valentine’s Day!” Kurt stammered.

“Wait!” Santana screeched. “That was my day in the betting pool! I knew Warbler Boy was a sucker for stupid romantic holidays, I knew it!”

“You _pre-arranged_ when you would get engaged?” Tina said angrily. “That’s ridiculous. Why would you do something like that?”

“Are you saying yes, Kurt? Because if you do, I win the money,” Sam said.

“No way,” Santana yelled. “If the plan was Valentine’s Day, that’s the winning day. You don’t win just because you spilled our secret and made them change their plans. That’s totally cheating.”

“Guys, I’m sorry, I’m going to have to call the bets off,” Puck said. “I’ll give back everyone’s money that they paid in, prorated.”

“Prorated?” Santana said, snapping her head around so she was facing him. “Did you _spend_ our betting pool money?”

“I _knew_ we shouldn’t have let him be in charge,” Rachel said.

While Puck was the center of everyone’s outraged attention, Kurt and Blaine snuck out of Rachel’s house and drove back to Kurt’s.

“I cannot _believe_ them,” Kurt said, fuming, as he slid under the covers of the bed.

“It’s pretty hilarious, though,” Blaine said, scooting in behind him. “But you never answered my question. Will you marry me, Kurt Hummel?”

Kurt swatted playfully at his shoulder. “I’m already married to you, you silly idiot.”

“Yes, but _will_ you.”

Kurt laughed, all traces of anger gone now. “Of course I will marry you, husband.”

Blaine beamed. “I love you, baby.”

“Love you, too.”


	17. Chapter 17

The first thing Kurt noticed when he woke up was the lack of Blaine’s warm body beside him. He sat up in bed, stretching and rubbing his eyes, and was startled by the sound of a wooden box snapping shut. He dropped his hands and looked over at the dresser, where Blaine was looking back at him with a guilty expression on his face and something hidden behind his back.

“Why were you going through my jewelry box?” Kurt asked. “I’m certain none of my accessories are to your taste. And if you did want to borrow something, you could just ask.”

 “No, no, it’s not for me! It’s …” Blaine rushed back to the bed and dropped to one knee. He held out a ring from behind his back. “Will you marry me?”

Kurt couldn’t keep the wide grin from his face, but this situation definitely called for some teasing. “Okay, first of all, I said yes last night. And second of all, that’s my ring. You can’t propose to me with my own ring! And third, that’s an Alexander McQueen, which means it has a skull on it, and no matter how much that is a very _me_ motif, I am not having a skull on my engagement ring.”

Blaine looked wounded. “I admit that a skull maybe isn’t the best symbol, but I wanted to propose with a real ring, and you don’t have that many of them. Why do you wear so many brooches and hardly any rings?”

“It’s _my own ring_ , Blaine! You can’t propose to me with jewelry that’s already mine!”

“I’ll get you a new one later, I just … I wanted you to have a ring when we tell your parents.”

That thought had not crossed Kurt’s mind yet. Finn had been at the party last night, so he knew what had happened. That meant they needed to tell Burt and Carole quickly, before Finn accidentally let something slip. “There’s … go back and open the box.” Kurt waited for Blaine to get up and walk over there. “Lift up the top layer, and then there’s a little indent area with a couple of rings. There’s a bow tie one, do you see it?”

“Yes … I love it! I’ve never seen you wear this one.” Blaine plucked it carefully out of the box, then replaced the top layer and put the skull ring back where he’d found it.

“It was going to be a present for you, actually. I bought it right before we broke up, and then … I don’t know, I could never bring myself to wear it, but I couldn’t get rid of it, either. I think maybe we could repurpose it now?”

Blaine turned around, his eyes full of bittersweet love.

“Come back and ask again,” Kurt said softly.

Blaine dropped to his knees beside the bed again. “I love you so much, Kurt. I want to be with you and only you for the rest of my life. Please tell me that I make you as happy as you make me. Please … will you be my husband?”

“Yes, Blaine, yes I will.” Their eyes shone as Blaine slid the ring onto Kurt’s finger.

“I love you,” Kurt whispered.

“I love you, too.”

Kurt bent down from where he was sitting on the bed to kiss Blaine, kneeling on the floor. Their lips met softly, lovingly, as perfectly as possible.

They broke apart and Blaine sat back on his heels. “It feels kind of weird to be down here and not giving you a blowjob.

Kurt threw his head back and laughed. “Great, now you’ve completely ruined this story for when we tell our grandchildren.

Blaine leaned forward and nuzzled his nose against Kurt’s thigh. “We’ll leave this part out.”

“Are we also going to leave out the part where we’re _already married_?”

Blaine looked up and put a finger to his lips. “Shhhh!”

“I’ll be very, very quiet,” Kurt promised.

\-----------------------------

It was hours before they finished showering and dressing and finally made their way downstairs. Carole looked up from the novel she was reading. “Good morning, boys,” she said cheerily.

“Morning, Carole,” Kurt said. “Where’s Dad?”

“He just went into the kitchen to make some more coffee.” She raised her voice. “Hon? Kurt and Blaine are up! Make extra coffee!”

“‘Bout time,” Burt grumbled from the kitchen.

“When you come back, we have something to tell you two,” Kurt said.

Carole leapt up from the couch. “Oh my god oh my god! Are you getting married?! Are you engaged?!”

“Way to steal my thunder,” Kurt said.

“I knew it! I knew it!” She nearly knocked Kurt over with the force of her full-body hug.

Burt ambled in from the kitchen. “‘Bout time,” he said again, leaning against the doorframe, trying unsuccessfully to hide the grin on his face.

Blaine laughed so hard he had to sit down on the floor and take loud wheezing gasps of breath between convulsive fits.

“What’s so funny?” Carole asked. “Why is this so funny? Stand up so I can hug you! Why are you laughing like that?”

Kurt looked down at Blaine’s trembling form, then looked back up to Carole. He bit his lip, trying to keep from breaking out into unstoppable laughter himself. “Oh … we were just worried you’d say we were rushing into things too soon.”

Burt chuckled. “You two were bound to get married sooner or later, and everybody knows it. What’s the point in waiting?”

Carole bounced up and down. “Tell me all the details! Who proposed to who? I bet it was _so_ romantic! Was it planned or spur of the moment? I have to know!”

Blaine managed to look up at Kurt with a terrified glance before he convulsed in another round of laughter.

Kurt looked at Carole. “It’s kind of a long story. Maybe we should wait until Blaine remembers how to breathe.”


	18. Chapter 18

Kurt and Blaine agreed to have a simple Valentine’s Day celebration. They made dinner reservations at a cozy, romantic restaurant that was a splurge for them but not terribly expensive. Aside from that, they planned to have a quiet night together at home.

And as for the day leading up to that dinner plan, it was just an ordinary school day. Various students at NYADA were being surprised with flowers and candy and cards by established significant others or new crushes throughout the day. Kurt smiled to see it happen, in the lunch room, in the halls on his way to class, in the big open atrium in the center of the building.

He was walking into that area on his way from one class to the next when the opening notes of a song rang out. He turned his head to look, and saw members of a brass band gathered in one corner, playing their instruments. “Love, love, love,” a girl’s voice rang out.

Kurt thrilled with excitement. Someone was being serenaded! This would be a treat to watch.

“Love, love, love,” another voice sang, this one belonging to a man. Kurt turned to scan the crowd for the singer, but a third voice interrupted his search. “Love, love, love,” another girl sang.

Kurt furrowed his brow. Was this a flashmob? Had someone planned a flashmob at NYADA and not invited him? He huffed, stepping a little bit further into the room. He knew the song, of course. Everyone knew the Beatles. Maybe the dance would be easy enough that he could join in even without rehearsals. Still, he wished he’d been included in the planning for this kind of thing. He wondered who had organized it.

“There’s nothing you can do that can’t be done.” This voice was familiar. Too familiar. This was Blaine. Blaine walking out of the crowd all the way across the atrium, dressed in a bright yellow suit, headed directly toward Kurt  one confident step at a time.

Kurt’s jaw dropped open.

He really should not have been surprised. When had Blaine ever missed the opportunity for a good serenade? He walked out into the middle of the room, and Kurt stepped up to meet him halfway. He watched, delighted and a bit embarrassed, as friends and strangers danced around the two of them and Blaine sang. Rachel and Santana appeared, huge smiles on their faces, and led Kurt on a little tour around the room so he would see all the best dance moves as they happened.

What Kurt _definitely_ didn’t expect was that as the final notes of the song dropped away, Blaine got down on one knee. He produced a ring box from somewhere and, opening it, held it out to Kurt.

“Kurt Hummel,” Blaine said, his eyes shining with more love than could possibly be contained by one person, “I love you. I’ve always loved you. I think, when I met you, my soul knew something that my mind and body didn’t know yet. It knew that our hands were meant to hold each other, fearlessly and forever. Which is why it’s never really felt like I’ve been getting to know you. It’s always felt like I was remembering you from something. As if every lifetime you and I have lived, we’ve chosen to come back and find each other and fall in love all over again, over and over for all eternity. And I just feel lucky that I found you so soon in this lifetime, because all I want to do, all I’ve ever wanted to do, is spend my life loving you. So Kurt Hummel, my amazing friend, my one true love, will you marry me?”

Kurt swooned, his legs nearly giving way, because no matter how much of a ridiculous display this was, it was the most romantic speech he had ever heard in his life. He heard several people say “awww” quietly in the crowd.

“Blaine, sweetie, this is lovely, but you do realize we’re already …” _engaged. Married._

Blaine grinned up at him. “I remember what you said to me back when I first moved to New York. That you wouldn’t marry any man who didn’t sweep you off your feet with a grand, romantic marriage proposal. I believe you specifically mentioned that you wanted a song. I didn’t want to deprive you of that just because we got engaged on the spur of the moment on New Year’s.”

Kurt grinned right back. “You do realize I was teasing you, right? And that I already agreed to marry you and I’m already wearing an engagement ring?”

“One that you bought for me!” Blaine said. “So give that one back to me, and wear this one instead.”

Kurt slid the bow tie ring off his finger and took the one Blaine offered. “Yes, Blaine. Yes, I will marry you.”

The crowd applauded, and Blaine stood back up to kiss him.

And then Kurt got down on one knee. He held up the bow tie ring that he’d just removed from his own finger. “And will you marry me?” he asked.

“Absolutely,” Blaine answered.


	19. Chapter 19

“We have to postpone our wedding until we have a combined household income of at least three hundred thousand dollars a year,” Kurt announced.

Blaine slid down from the couch to join Kurt on the floor, where he was surrounded by brochures from wedding venues and vendors of all types. “I think you’re maybe being a bit overdramatic,” he said, rubbing Kurt’s shoulder. “We just have to make a few compromises, is all.”

“No, Blaine, you don’t understand. _Everything_ is out of our price range. Every location. Every vendor. If we cut the invite list down to twenty-five people and feed them only cocktails and appetizers, we still could barely afford it. And neither of us wants that. It’s not _a few compromises_. It’s completely impossible.”

“We’ll … we’ll think of something.”

“Blaine. I have thought of everything. It does not work.”

“What if we get married in Ohio?” Blaine asked.

Kurt blinked at him. “Gay marriage isn’t legal in Ohio.”

Blaine grinned, his eyes sparking. “That doesn’t matter. We’re already married. We’re just throwing a big party and saying vows. We don’t need New York’s legal system for that.”

“Everything is so much cheaper in Ohio,” Kurt said softly. “We could have the wedding at Dalton, I know they rent out the space. New Directions could be the band. We wouldn’t even have to hire an officiant, since we wouldn’t be trying to convince everyone that it’s the real thing.”

“The only question is what we’ll tell everyone about the legal aspect,” Blaine said.

Kurt’s eyes sparkled.

\-----------------------------------

“But gay marriage isn’t legal in Ohio,” Burt said into the phone.

“I know that, Dad, obviously, but it makes so much more sense for us to have the wedding there. It’s affordable, is the main thing. It’s cheaper for all our guests, too, because either they live there or they have family they can stay with when they visit for the wedding. And it’s a place that’s meaningful for us, where we met and where we fell in love.”

“So you’re not really getting married?” Burt asked. “It’s all going to be a fake?”

“We’ll do the legal part of it separately,” Kurt said carefully. “At the New York City courthouse, with a judge. It’s no big deal. The point of the wedding is to celebrate with friends and family.”

“I don’t like it,” Burt said. “After all the work we all did, advocating for marriage equality, you’re not even taking advantage of it.”

“But we _are_ ,” Kurt said. “Plenty of people have separate civil and religious ceremonies. It’s just the same as that.”

“You’re not religious.”

“It’s the principle of the thing,” Kurt said, exasperated.

“Fine,” Burt said grudgingly. “But I want to be there for the real one, too. In New York, with the judge and whatever.”

Kurt’s eyes widened in panic. “Oh, that’s not really necessary.”

“Forget it, kid. I’m gonna see you get married in the eyes of the state. I’m gonna sign the damn form as your witness.”

“But—”

“I insist.”

“Okay, we’ll … we’ll see what we can do.”

“You let me know when you’re gettin’ hitched, whether it’s before or after the quote-unquote wedding, and I will make sure I’m there. You’re my son. I’m gonna be there.”

“Thanks, Dad. I love you.”

“Love you too, kid.”

Kurt hung up the phone and turned to Blaine. “We have a problem.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for the long wait between chapters. I had a huge burst of inspiration for a different fic, which I'm not publishing until it's complete, and all of my writing energy went there for a while. I hope to finish this fic up soon, within a few more chapters. Thanks for reading!

The problem with designing your own non-traditional wedding ceremony that’s not actually a legal wedding is that you have to make all the decisions from scratch. There’s no script to work from. Nothing has to be any certain way.

Kurt and Blaine both have close friends of both genders, so instead of “bridesmaids” and “groomsmen,” they have “attendants.” Kurt’s will be Rachel, Mercedes, and Finn. Blaine’s will be Sam, Tina, and Cooper.

Deciding that is the easy part.

“How do we make the ceremony last longer than two minutes?” Kurt asked in frustration. “Writing our own vows is one thing, but creating the _whole entire ceremony_ is a lot harder than I expected.”

“Well, Rachel will sing something…” Blaine said.

“Which is weird, because she’s also a groomsmaid … I mean _attendant_. So she’s going to be up there already, and then she moves to center stage and sings?”

“It’s not that weird.”

“It’s a little awkward. And she’ll be wearing a matching dress, too…”

“It’s not that weird,” Blaine repeated.

“Should we have everyone sing? For symmetry? I mean, we know they all can sing well.”

“Maybe … or some of them could recite poetry? Or give a speech?”

“How is this any different from what will happen at the reception? How do we decide what’s part of the ‘ceremony’ and what’s part of the ‘party’?”

“I’m sure Rachel would love to sing at both,” Blaine said, smirking a little bit.

Kurt threw up his arms in frustration. “This is _hard_ ,” he whined.

“Nobody said marriage was easy,” Blaine said.

“I think that when they said that, they were talking about _being_ married, not _getting_ married.”

“Being married is actually pretty easy so far.”

Kurt smiled, his wedding worries forgotten for a moment. “It’s been three quarters of a year. And every single minute has been glorious.”

“What should we do for our secret anniversary?” Blaine asked, his eyes sparkling.

“Hmm. Maybe take a honeymoon finally?”

“Ooh, I’d like that. Plus it fits well with our ‘doing everything out of order’ theme. Marriage, then proposal, then honeymoon, then wedding.”

“And then another honeymoon!” Kurt exclaimed.

“And another marriage, staged for your father’s benefit.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” Kurt said. He still hadn’t figured out how to pull off his father’s request to be at their legal wedding and sign the form as a witness, given that they were already married.

“Sorry,” Blaine said. “Let’s get back to planning our _first_ fake wedding, then.”

“Right,” Kurt said. “I’m really stuck about who should officiate. All the people closest to us are already in the ceremony.”

“Speaking of your father, actually, I was wondering how you’d feel about him officiating at the ceremony.” Blaine suggested. “He’s a Congressman and everything. Lots of gravitas.”

“He’s supposed to walk me down the aisle,” Kurt pointed out. “Besides, he might be a bit overwhelmed with emotions, what with his son getting married and all.”

“Oh, right. Um … Mr. Schue?”

Kurt shot a death glare at Blaine.

“Okay then … how about Santana?”

“As hilarious as that would be … it’s probably not a good idea.”

“Who else is there?”

Kurt sighed. “Do we really need to have an officiant?”

“Um … technically no, but I think it would be helpful to have someone be the master of ceremonies. We’ll have too much on our minds to stage direct the whole thing. Plus, someone has to tell us when to kiss each other.”

“Yes, because god forbid we kiss without permission.”

“I’m serious, Kurt. I think Santana could do a good job. And she’ll be so happy to be included.”

\-----------------------------------

“Santana?” Blaine asked the next time they were at the loft for dinner. “Kurt and I have something very important to ask you. Will you marry us?”

“Wanky,” Santana said, a look of confusion on her face.

“Excellent phrasing choice, Blaine,” Kurt said. “What he means, Santana, is that we would like for you to perform our wedding ceremony. You’d be the officiant, telling everyone when to say what, and maybe saying a few words yourself.”

“Do I have to become a minister on some sketchy website or something?”

Kurt rolled his eyes. “It’s not a legally binding wedding ceremony, so no, you don’t have to have any qualifications at all.”

“I’m thinking of becoming a Wiccan priestess. Woman power and all that jizz.”

“No religion, Santana,” Blaine said. “There will just be some speeches and poems and a song or two, and you tell everyone when it’s their turn, and then you say we’re married.”

“And then I tell you to make out in front of all your beloved friends and family.”

“Precisely,” Kurt said.

“Wanky!”

“I’m so glad to see you’re approaching this role with the seriousness it deserves,” Kurt snarked at her.

“She’ll come through in the end, when it really matters,” Blaine said. “Won’t you, Santana?”

Santana winked at him. “Of course. So who is doing all these speeches and poems and songs?”

“And now on to the next problem…” Kurt said with a sigh.


	21. Chapter 21

Santana smiled at Kurt and Blaine standing before her, then held her arms out in a gesture that encompassed the entire gathered party in the Dalton Academy common room. “Family, friends, and longstanding enemies who were invited for some incomprehensible reason—” Sebastian quirked an eyebrow at her, but she didn’t pause. “We are gathered here today to witness Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson’s sham of a wedding.”

“Santana…” Kurt said under his breath in a warning tone.

“Let her get it out of her system,” Blaine said quietly.

“Kurt and Blaine have been acting like an old married couple practically since the day they met,” Santana continued. “After years and years of pretending to be married, they’ve decided to drag all of us all the way out to Ohio to put on this charade, after which they will _continue_ to pretend to be married, because this thing is not even legal in Ohio.”

Kurt sighed heavily. “As I have told everyone a hundred times, we’re going to get legally married in New York. It just made more sense to have the ceremony and reception in Ohio.”

“Whatever, Hummel,” Santana said. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

Kurt threw his hands up in the air. Blaine pretended to cough, hiding his laughter.

“Anyway, there are fancy clothes and free alcohol, so who am I to complain,” Santana said with a smirk.

“Praise!” Artie said. He fist-bumped Mercedes.

“I cannot believe this is happening,” Kurt muttered.

“At this point in the festivities, I’d like to invite Rachel to sing a song for the groom and groom.”

“Thank you, Santana.” Rachel bounced to center stage as Santana stepped aside. “The song I’m going to sing is from a movie that Kurt and Blaine both love, and that they’ve watched together many, many times. It’s a story of romance and tragedy, and, fittingly, this song is sung at a wedding.”

 “ _How do you solve a problem like Maria_ ,” Rachel sang. It was definitely not the opening line of Come What May.

“Oh my god, what is _wrong_ with you people!” Kurt said angrily, but Rachel went on with her song as if he hadn’t spoken. Blaine’s shoulders shook with laughter. Kurt looked around the room, hoping to find support for his outrage in someone’s face – anyone’s face, really. But there was none to be found. His friends were cracking up, and even his father was grinning like an idiot.

Santana took the floor again after Rachel wailed the final notes of the song in full diva style. “Thank you, Rachel. That was beautiful, and very touching, if I may say so. Next, Sam Evans is invited to say a few words.”

Sam stepped up and cleared his throat. “I’m so happy that Blaine and Kurt are getting fake married. Kurt is like a brother to me. I stayed at his house—thanks Mr. Hummel—when I moved back to Lima without my parents. We were friends before that, but of course it brought us much closer together. And then after Kurt moved to New York, Blaine and I became best friends. Bros, really, all the way. So this wedding is like watching my two brothers get married. To each other. Which, when you think about it, is kind of weird. Like incest or something. But like they say, love is love.”

“Truth,” Mercedes said, nodding her head.

“Thank you, Sam, for those oddly creepy sentiments,” Santana said. “Next, Brittany S. Pierce will recite a poem.”

“It was hard for me to choose a poem to read today,” Brittany said. “I was going to read all the poems that have ever been written about love and choose my favorite, but there turned out to be way too many. So then I started thinking about who I love most in the whole world, and that’s Lord Tubbington. Sorry, Santana, you’re a close second. Then I asked some of my friends at MIT if they knew any love poems about cats, and someone suggested this one that was on Star Trek. I don’t really understand it, but it sounds pretty, so here it is.

 _“Felis catus is your taxonomic nomenclature,_  
An endothermic quadruped, carnivorous by nature;  
Your visual, olfactory, and auditory senses  
Contribute to your hunting skills and natural defenses.”

Brittany continued for another three verses before coming to the end of Commander Data’s ode to his pet cat. “Thank you for listening,” she said.

“That was just bizarre,” Kurt whispered to Blaine.

“It’s Brit,” Blaine said with a shrug.

“At this time, I invite Kurt and Blaine to say their vows to each other,” Santana said.

“I’ll go first,” Blaine volunteered. He turned to face Kurt and took both hands in his. “Kurt, you are the love of my life. I am so honored that you have chosen me to get fake married to today—”

“Oh my _god_ , will _nobody_ take this seriously?” Kurt moaned.

“People are always saying that we act like we’re already married,” Blaine continued. “And I think I understand why. It’s because I feel like we already are.”

Kurt’s eyes widened, but he said nothing.

“I feel like we’ve been joined together for … well, I won’t say forever, but for a long time now. We’ve made all sorts of promises to each other, and we’ve kept those promises, and … Santana is right, in a way. This wedding feels superfluous. I’m so glad we’re here, publicly making our vows to each other and inviting our family and friends to celebrate our love and our commitment to each other. But in terms of how I feel about you … I’ve always loved you. I’ve always been connected to you. And all of this is just icing on the cake. I’m yours, and you’re mine, and that’s all I’ve ever wanted in my life.”

“Blaine…” Kurt said in a hushed whisper. He took a deep breath. “Okay, I suppose it’s my turn. First, I’d like to say that I’m going to kill all of you, especially Santana, and also Blaine. And I love all of you, especially Blaine, even though he may not survive until our wedding night. Thanks for making this an unforgettable experience. And I’ll save all the rest of my thoughts for later.”

“I now pronounce you fake husband and fake husband,” Santana intoned solemly. “Make the heck out with each other.”

Kurt hesitated.

“Do it! Do it!” Santana mocked.

“Oh, what the hell,” Kurt said. He leapt up, hands on Blaine’s shoulders and legs wrapped around his waist, and kissed open-mouthed, tongue penetrating deeply into his fake husband’s throat. A whoop went up from the gathered guests.

Blaine was nearly doubled over in laughter by the time he set Kurt back down on his feet.

“Best rehearsal ever!” Artie shouted.

“I hate you all,” Kurt said with a huge grin on his face.

“Serves you right, Groomzilla,” Rachel said.

“Just so long as none of this happens at the _actual_ wedding tomorrow,” Kurt warned.

“You mean your real fake wedding, as opposed to your fake fake wedding?” Santana asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Don’t even think about it,” Kurt said. “Now let’s get on with some of that free alcohol we were just discussing.”

“To Breadstix!”

“Breadstix!”

“Rehearsal dinner! Woo-hoo!”


	22. Chapter 22

Kurt was almost as nervous as he had been before their real wedding. No, he corrected himself, he meant the fake wedding that was in Ohio, with all their friends and family in attendance. The one he’d spent an entire year planning. He hadn’t been nervous for their _real_ wedding at all, because at that time he’d been slightly drunk and extremely high on adrenaline and he hadn’t had the wherewithal to be nervous about it until the deed was done. Thank god they’d been able to keep that whole thing secret for nearly two years now.

After today, it would no longer be an issue. This was the day of their fake real wedding. Burt’s nagging for them to make it an official, legal marriage had finally culminated in the very last step of their farce. Assuming everything went according to plan, they wouldn’t have to lie or pretend anymore after this.

Blaine rushed into the NYADA dance studio they’d reserved for the private ceremony.  He was impeccably dressed in a black suit and green bow tie, matching Kurt’s black suit and green straight tie. Kurt greeted him with a peck on the lips. “You didn’t forget the marriage certificate, did you?”

Blaine pulled out the folded paper from his pocket. “I’ve got it right here. I still can’t believe I forged a government document for this.”

“It’s not forging a government document,” Kurt said with an exasperated sigh. “It’s creating a very realistic prop for a play. We’re not going to actually give it to anyone in the government.”

“Your father is a congressman! He _is_ the government!”

“Stop it, you’ll make me even more nervous than I already am.”

Adam stepped up and clapped Kurt on the shoulder. “Don’t be nervous. Everything is going to be just fine.”

Kurt looked him up and down, inspecting the judge’s robe they’d borrowed from the NYADA costume department. “Are you sure you know all your lines?”

“Positive,” Adam assured him.

The door opened and in walked Burt Hummel and Elliott. “Oh good,” Burt said. “When this guy met me at the subway station and claimed to be your friend, I was half-expecting it to be some kind of scam operation.”

“It’s the top hat,” Elliott said. “I love it, but it doesn’t tend to inspire confidence  from strangers.”

Kurt reached up and adjusted the brim of the hat. “You look fabulous, Elliott.” Then he turned and hugged his father. “Sorry I couldn’t pick you up myself. I had to be here to make sure everything was set up properly.”

Burt glanced around at the undecorated, empty room. “Huh. Nobody else here? I thought at least Rachel would come, and maybe a few more of your NYADA friends who couldn’t make it to the Ohio ceremony.”

“Rachel had to work,” Kurt said. They’d carefully arranged the time of the wedding so that Rachel couldn’t be there to out Adam as a fraud, but Burt didn’t need to know that. “And since this is just a formality, we didn’t want to make a big deal of it and have to host another whole reception and everything.”

“When have you ever not wanted to plan a party?” Burt asked.

Adam clapped his hands together. “Now that we’re all gathered, shall we begin?” He set a few papers on the podium that was set up towards one end of the room, and the other four men gathered in a semi-circle around it, Kurt and Blaine in the middle, Elliott and Burt on either side.

“Are you sure you’re a judge?” Burt asked Adam. “You look pretty young for the job. And you’re British?”

Adam tugged awkwardly at the collar of his robe. “Ah, yes. I mean, no. I grew up in Essex, but my parents are American citizens. They were living in the UK for … business.”

“What kind of business?” Burt asked.

“Ah … pottery.”

Kurt shot Adam an alarmed glance.

“Right then,” Adam said quickly. “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today …” he went on with the script of platitudes that Kurt and Blaine had put together for him to recite. “I now pronounce you legally married husbands,” he finished after the I Do’s a few minutes later, and Kurt and Blaine kissed each other happily.

Adam signed his name to the marriage certificate with a florish and handed the pen to Burt as the first witness.

“I’m so proud of you both,” Burt said, tears in his eyes, as he signed his name. Elliott quickly filled in the second witness spot.

The door swung open and Rachel walked in. “Oh hi, everyone! Hey, Adam!” she said enthusiastically. “What’s going on? Oh my god, Burt? What are you doing here?”

“Watchin’ my son get married, no biggie,” Burt said proudly, but then his expression changed to confusion. “You didn’t know it was his wedding day? He told me you had to work and couldn’t be here.”

“Wedding day?” Rachel looked around the room in confusion.

“Judge Crawford here just made it all legal. Too bad you didn’t get here five minutes ago, or you could have seen it.”

“Judge … Crawford …?” Rachel stammered. She put her hands on her hips. “He’s not a judge, he’s a NYADA student. Kurt, Blaine, what is going on? Why are you lying to your dad?”

“Rachel!” Kurt hissed.

“If he’s not a judge, what was that marriage certificate I just signed?” Burt asked.

“I can explain!” Adam said. Everyone turned to look at him. He froze, wide-eyed. After a long moment, he said, “Nevermind, I can’t explain.”

“Oh my _god_ , and you call yourself an actor,” Kurt said, rolling his eyes to the ceiling.

“Sorry, Kurt. I nearly failed improv class.”

“All I want to know,” Burt said, “is why you two boys don’t want to get legally married. I don’t understand why I practically had to drag you kicking and screaming to get you to do this, after you happily planned an entire not-legally-recognized wedding almost half a year ago, and I don’t understand why you put on some kind of elaborate joke to try to convince me you were getting legally married. It makes no sense at all.”

“We’re already married,” Blaine said.

“Blaine…” Kurt said.

“I know, Kurt, but we might as well tell him the truth now. There’s no other good explanation, and I’m tired of lying.”

Kurt sighed.

“You’re already married?” Burt asked. “Legally?”

Kurt nodded.

“For how long?”

“Two years.”

“Two years? You haven’t even been back together two years!”

Blaine cleared his throat. “We, um … we got married before we got back together. It was the day the Supreme Court decided the DOMA case, and we were so caught up in the excitement that we just … ran down to City Hall and got married that day. We didn’t want to tell you because we didn’t want you to think we were being irresponsible. I’m so sorry, Mr. Hummel. We never meant for it to turn into this big thing.”

Rachel’s eyes widened and she waved a finger at Blaine. “Oh my god. _Oh my god!_ When you posted on Facebook that you were married, _you actually were married, weren’t you!_ And I reassured everyone that you weren’t, _oh my god_.”

“Sorry, Rachel,” Kurt said. “And sorry, Dad. I wanted you to be there for my wedding, that’s why we didn’t tell anyone. We arranged all this for you … so you could be there.”

Burt shook his head in disbelief. “I don’t know what to say, kid. I’m just glad the two of you are together, and happy, and legal.”

“You’re not mad?”

“Well … I’ll set that aside as long as we can still have that fancy wedding dinner we were planning tonight.”

“It’s a deal,” Kurt said, grinning.

“Why did we go through all this nonsense?” Blaine said to Kurt.

“You know, I’m not really sure,” Kurt said. “But it was quite a ride, wasn’t it?”

“It’ll be a story to tell our grandkids one day, that’s for sure,” Blaine laughed.

“Speaking of grandkids…” Burt said.

“Oh, no no no no no,” Kurt stopped him. “Not for a long time yet.”


End file.
